Not what you expect in cards
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Mom, thank you for not leaving me on a door step
Mom, sorry my huge head ruined your vagina.
Happy Mother's Day to someone who was smart enough
Mom, thanks for not sleeping with any of my friend
Happy Mother's Day to someone I want to have sex
If being a mother was easy father's would do it.
Mother's day never feels like a chore because
I hope a mediocre present will negate 364 days of
I love how we don't have say out loud that I'm you
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Because of you I'm not a hooker
